The Sucky Ages

She licks, she sucks

In the life that I have lived so far, and it’s not a very long one yet, I have come to the conclusion that the worst ages to be in has got to be: adolescence, 25, and 29, in order of increasing suckiness.

Imagine the time when you were just an adolescent. Personally, I had a pretty OK adolescence, which is to say that I acquired no life-threatening trauma – physical nor psychological. However, I can just imagine how a lot of youngsters of both sexes must have experienced a sucky puberty. For us boys, this was the time when we got teased endlessly about our changing voices. It was excruciatingly embarrassing to be the center of attention when amongst relatives every time a piyok comes out of my throat. It’s also the same situation with girls when they experienced changes in their bodies, and in the process, getting sexually harassed for the very first time in their lives, and this  harassment was all coming from their very own relatives at that! To add to that, we just didn’t know where to fit in – we get scolded for playing with the kids because we’re not being mature; when we try to mingle with the adults they are indignant because we had the nerve to join their group. It sucks to be an out-of-tune, out-of-proportion outcast.

Protected: Ang Surprise Party (as in)

This post is password protected. To view it please enter your password below:

Password:

Gnu Sex Shun

Yeah, I know it’s a cheap way to get your attention but I’ve been told that this is the way to sell stuff. I mean magazines have been doing it since forever — include the word “sex” on their front pages. Studies*¹ have shown that 87%*² of the magazines at any given magazine rack contain the word “sex” on their covers (e.g. 8 Mindblowing Sex Tips for 2008). There have even been times when religious publications have used it (e.g Sex: When is the right time to do it?). So yeah, I’m using this trick now. Unfortunately this post has got nothing to do with sex. This is about my blog’s new section (and the title’s just supposed to be a word play for that. Well, the titles on some of my other posts were also word plays so… meh).

Noose Flush

Just to make up for the lost time and to make you read my old posts again, I do have an update regarding the lost PJs — I got it back.

Having said that, if you do have any other public announcements that you need to make, blog posting is the way to do it. Have it posted in as many blogs possible because apparently, that’s how people do it these days. They would sometimes delay communication by having the comunicatee read the communicator’s blog. Here’s a true story to illustrate this phenomenon (names were changed for fun):

Mightier Than Sword

I miss writing. I know that is a very gay thing to say but yes, I actually do miss writing. It’s been weeks since I’ve last written and I fear that if I don’t write everyday I’m not gonna get my Palancas anymore. Yes, baby gurl, that’s in plural form. But that’s not really my topic now, is it? Nope it sure isn’t. What I’d really want to tell you is why I haven’t been writing. I don’t care if you don’t care why, but reading this post was already written in your little chapter on the “Book of Life” long before you were born (Long live determinism!). Hopefully the post title and picture here have already provided enough intrigue for you to read on.

Thicker Than Water

Prophecies and omens are tricky bastards, they could have more than one meaning or none at all. No matter how I wish it was that simple, life just never is. So here’s a prose that I will file under ‘Poetry’ just because I can.

Rhesus monkeys having a good time

Water Cooler Story

One of the most important office equipment is the water cooler. Especially in our office where the AC is like a woman experiencing PMS, throwing tantrums that turn our office into the arctic one day and then desert island the next. But most of the time it’s desert island (which I hate because I can’t make porma with my jacket ). So anyways, we have a water cooler (that also has a heater btw, but I don’t use that function often enough so I’ll just call it water cooler). We actually have four, two of which are in our area, located in rooms A and B as illustrated by the blue dots below.

Figure 1. Yes, I have free time to make crude illustrations. What’s a man to do, I was just waiting for my ride to come.

Gimme Back My PJs

They say that more people write poems than read them. With all the junk that people write on the net, this is probably true. I’m trying to reverse this phenomenon by making you read this poem that I wrote. Anyways, this is a form of poetry that is loosely based on what the French call villanelle. I, on the other hand, call it a public service announcement. And an excuse for writing something on the 8th day of 2008. Enjoy!

Half Empty

You know what sucks about long vacations that are fun and enjoyable? It’s the time when you return from the trip.

Say you go out of town with your closest friends, probably to Palawan to go scuba diving, then you move to Bohol for some chocolate-hilly-Tarsier fun (I have no idea what it is, but for this purpose let’s just assume that it’s an ultra-fun activity or activities of your choice involving chocolate hills and Tarsiers). After that, you go to Cebu to… I don’t know… probably see your crush and eat lots of Talisay lechon (yumyum!), then proceed to Boracay for more hedonistic activities. To digress a bit, notice that I’m partial to places in the Visayas area. That’s because I’m from Mindanao. It doesn’t explain anything but hey, this is just a digression and wordpress says that my word count is currently 212 and I gotta give you something long to read. So anyways, going back to the point, you basically go on vacation and have tons of fun.

Exposed to the Elements

Photo credits: All pictures here were taken by Bert. Or at least by his wonderful camera. Except for the last one.

Due to popular demand (around… lemme see… one person), I shall be blogging about our awesome Christmas party. But first I will play DotA. *play*play*play*

Mmkay… where was I… oh yes… our awesome Christmas party. So the theme for this year was Encantadia (which, btw, is so 2006). Unlike our Cebu office’s Christmas theme which was “Going Global, Greening Local” (Yes, seriously), ours was, well… Encantadia. Or was it “Magical Enchanted Christmas Extravaganza”? Basta, there’s Encantadia and there’s also Christmas in it. It was the same with Cebu because we also had to dress up in costumes. The difference was that they wore animal costumes (I guess coz whenever there’s some “greening local” going on, the animals can’t be too far away). We, on the other hand, wore costumes related to our assigned elements — Water, Air, Fire, Earth, Light, and Darkness. Yeah, they kinda lost me too when they said Darkness, but hey, if Christmas Committee say that those are the elements then elements they shall be. Such power-trippers, these Kriskom members.

The venue this year was at Father Blanco’s Garden at Intramuros. It had a very nice garden setting providing for a great outdoor party. Very. Boring. Description.

Like moths to the fire

Now, I’ll discuss what each group wore for their costumes.